Confession: I have a strong tendency to rebel against structure; structure and order simply are not my default modes of living and working. Yes, I’ve learned to do work within structure and in a way that is orderly, though that is primarily a way of controlling the chaos. If you look at my weekends when I’m truly off, about the only things you’ll find on my calendar will be “run” “yoga” and (during the appropriate season) “symphony”.
Someone recently observed that I’m reliable about getting my runs in, about writing, about walking Olivia, about going to yoga, amongst other things, and that demonstrates that I am committed to structure and order.
I, of course, argued against that idea, with my argument founded in how I differentiate routine, which is definitely about order, from ritual in my day-to-day life. See, a routine is defined by pattern and regimen, and it’s characterized by a certain ordinariness (drudgery even?). Routine is doing the dishes after supper, or putting the recycling can out on Sunday nights. Routine is that weekly meeting that you are obligated to at work. Routine is fixed and rigid, and I had a moment of joy when I saw that Merriam-Webster defines it as “a boring state… in which things are always done the same way.” Routine, in my mind, is obligation. It’s the “must do” stuff. It’s what sometimes gets referred to as adulting, which is an activity I’ve come to realize is completely overrated.
Why do I think of ritual differently, when it has some of the same characteristics in terms of patterns? Ritual’s word root is shared with rite, which has a spiritual or religious overtone. It’s more ceremonial, and rites can be part of a celebration. If you look at those habitual things that I’m reliable about, they are things that bring me joy, that I don’t consider drudgery (okay, there’s that rare run, but generally speaking…). They are activities that leave me feeling better than when I started them, that often challenge me, that are the foundation for (hopefully) making me a better version of myself. While I still tend to treat them as obligations, they aren’t the obligations that I see on my calendar and start secretly hoping that they’ll be cancelled. Yes, there is structure around running on Saturday mornings at 7 with my running tribe, but there’s no question that it’s a challenge that I love. There’s structure around hurrying home after my run for a quick shower and snack before Restore Yoga, but there’s no question that I always leave yoga feeling better than when I got there. There’s structure around walking Olivia every single morning when we get up, but there’s such shared joy in our outdoors time together that I would be foolish to not be part of it.
I suppose the challenge becomes in trying to turn some of those routine things into ritual, which is entirely about changing mindset. Maybe tomorrow I’ll look for some joy in doing dishes…